01/13晚上
聽到外婆說起她跟Bolo的主人說的話...
她說他們把Bolo帶走後我就因為過敏去看醫生了...
但實際上我是因為別的事情去看家庭醫生
結果醫生覺得我的長期性過敏應該要吃藥克服...
所以才會買了過敏藥回家
although I should have faced the truth (I'll never have a cat) already...
...this still upsets me so much...
...I acutally had an emotion outburst that night in front of MY SISTER
（導火線: she showed me a picture of 滷蛋...）
and then in front of my mother later...
and wasn't be able to talk about this until now...that's how bad this was
01/14早上
next morning was not pleasant either
I woke up with a really bad nightmare:
I dreamed about my grandfather
（Everytime that I've dreamed about him,
I'll start to miss him horribly during the next few days...）
but this time it was only WORSE...
because my grandpa wasn't the main character in my dream...
...my grandmother was....
as always, she did something that completely horrified me...
she got very sick in my dream, and chose to go to grandpa...
...by jumping off a building and landing on the ground right in front of me...
so...yeah...
before I know what's going on, I was crying hysterically on the bed in my mother's arms...
and again, wasn't be able to talk about this until now...
...that's how shocking + horrible this was...